Jewelled Junk

JEWELLED JUNK

How spoiled we are! Once we were peasants!

No jewels and no birthday presents!

No furs to wear, no silken gowns,

No diadems or golden crowns!

Of course, I speak of my ancestors!

I really cannot vouch for yours!

They may have been from the upper class

Eating from gold, drinking from glass!

But mine were definitely low

In the years long, long ago.

I can't lay claim to blood that's blue;

Mine had a very ruddy hue!

Yet now there's more equality.

You don't seem much more 'posh' than me!

And all of us wear 'junk' (it's plastic)

And manage to look quite fantastic!

Here, at the market, I can buy

Glittery stuff that takes my eye.

Serf and master? Those days are gone;

Humankind has traveled on.

I need no longer feel inferior

Because of my dull and drab exterior!

Here, for just a dollar or two

I can look fancy, just like you.

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WASABI?

What on earth is 'Wasabi?' Once I asked that question.

And now I know I feel that it could cause me indigestion!

I found a recipe that's called 'Firecracker Salad'. Yes!

The writer of the recipe has a fire-proof tongue I guess!

He introduces it like this, with 'BAM!' all upper-case!

The very word makes my poor heart beat at a faster pace!

Then he says 'Clear your sinuses with this tasty little treat!'

(So it seems that it's medicinal and not just nice to eat!)

He then describes the runny eyes, the nose that's turning red!

I'm starting to look on Wasabi as something I should dread!

Anyway, the recipe is just potato salad,

Not anything exotic that deserves a bounteous ballad!

Potatoes cooked, potatoes chopped, some onion, quite ho-hum;

It seems this Firecracker Salad is as boring as they come.

Green pepper? OK! Add a bit but it's still not cordon bleu!

I thought a Firecracker Salad might cause something of a stir!

Aha! Here comes the burning bit, the taste to cause a blaze!

'Mix it all with lashings of Wasabi Mayonnaise!'

Mayonnaise with Wasabi Powder! He didn't give proportions;

But I think recipes like this should come supplied with cautions!

His final phrase, an understatement, as I'm sure he knows,

Says 'It does pack a little heat!' Crikey! Stone the crows!

Now I'm the sort of lady who likes her cooking mild;

If I add some Soy Sauce I feel I'm pretty wild!

Horse Radish is beyond the pale; it's really much too hot,

So, when it comes to Wasabi, what hope have I got?

I prefer my eyes non-runny; I prefer my nose pale pink.

So if I'm offered Wasabi I'll turn it down, I think.

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